


the baddest, straight up vicious

by Kittenfightclub



Series: Friendly Competition [1]
Category: Death Machine (1994)
Genre: 100 percent pure uncondensed fluff tbqh, Competitiveness, Jokes, Kissing, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, absolutely no sadness, fucking Mario Kart yall, hints of suggestive stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-07 00:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11047200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittenfightclub/pseuds/Kittenfightclub
Summary: the boys get really competitive at their weekly Mario Kart tournament; I'm sure we all relate





	the baddest, straight up vicious

**Author's Note:**

> fun headcannons that didn't get included: Weyland is the kind of Mario kart player who's strategy is to pick the largest, heaviest character and use them to knock everyone else off the track (so I imagined him using Bowser)  
> yutani probably uses Dry Bones or someone and focuses on offroading, and raimi uses Peach and picks the bike with the most speed  
> (tag yourself, I'm Weyland)
> 
> the title is a quote from the song You Don't Own Me, because I had that, Private Life, and Fergalicious playing on repeat while I wrote this

Yutani likes to think that he, Weyland, and Raimi, are at least a little serious _some of the time_ , but that’s not the case. Even when they’re in hardcore progressive mode, trying to think up ideas, clever schemes that may actually make a difference, Raimi has a singular penchant for making a grand entrance and distributing joints, or ice cream cones, or even one time stray kittens.Yutani can resist weed, especially when he’s really focused on something deemed ‘important’ or larger than himself, but he can’t resist kittens.

 

They’re certainly not serious after-hours, when they’re through with work and mentally exhausted. There’s a significant amount of kisses traded then, cheek kisses, french kisses, nose kisses, forehead kisses, neck kisses- all of which make it hard for Yutani to focus on anything containing even a shred of seriousness.

 

His boyfriends are ridiculous, and this is most clearly evidenced by their weekly Mario Kart tournaments.

 

It’s a tradition, one which is taken very seriously by at least one of the trio (Raimi) and most devotedly maintained by another (Weyland), Yutani has no say in the matter. He doesn’t complain though when they all take their spots -practically indented by now- in the tiny loveseat, which strains under the weight of the three.

Weyland, having the longest legs, sits on the armrest of the seat, while Yutani takes the other side, stretching out his legs to rest on the worn side table, held up by a stack of books sitting beneath one sawed off leg. Raimi squeezed himself in the middle of the pair, snuggled deep into the cushions and always looking particularly pleased with himself for accomplishing such a feat- even though he often ends up standing, jumping up and down and pacing about anxiously while he plays anyways.

 

.

 

This particularly evening, Raimi looks particularly slippery, and Weyland keeps snickering too, which is… odd, especially considering that Yutani is proud to have been named Mario Kart Champion three weeks in a row.

 

Despite that, Yutani doesn’t question it: they both can be insufferable dorks sometimes, and while that doesn’t mean Yutani ever gets tired of them in all their idiotic glory, it certainly means that this could very well be nothing at all.

 

They all pick their characters and continue. As the countdown plays, Raimi hurriedly squishes himself into his usual spot on the couch with a giggle.

Weyland and Yutani laugh at him too, as if he doesn’t do the same thing every. damn. time.

It’s not clever, but it’s Raimi, and usually at least one of the pair will laugh at Raimi, even if he isn’t being funny, or even trying to be funny.

 

.

 

Yutani is winning, not that it’s not close, but he has definitely taken a firm lead, and that’s when he hears it: Raimi laughing again. It’s not even a little giggle or anything; Raimi is tucked between his two boyfriends on the cozy love-seat and is practically guffawing at...something. Yutani isn’t gonna pause the game to ask what the fuck is wrong with him, but he’s definitely wondering now.

 

Yutani has won two out of the three races they’ve played; Raimi is in second, and Weyland is in fourth (when he realized this, Weyland spent a solid minute very civilly cussing out Yoshi for being a “goddamn fucking glitchy NPC piece of shit,” while Raimi just giggled at him and took the lead).  


.

 

On the last race, Yutani and Raimi were very nearly tied, while Weyland had somehow made his way back to third place- and Raimi would not stop fucking laughing.

It was getting on Yutani’s nerves if he was gonna be completely honest.

He didn’t know what Raimi was thinking about, but just the fact that he was thinking about something that had the ability to make him laugh that hard was distracting. At least he wasn’t sitting on the couch anymore.

 

Raimi had moved to stand behind the couch, pacing back and forth restlessly, wildly clicking the controller in his hands- he liked to use the old playstation controllers for nostalgia, even though the ones made specifically for the game were certainly more efficient in the others’ opinion (Yutani had tried using the Wii nunchucks for a while because they were _fucking nunchucks_ , but they had proved themselves inefficient as well)..

 

.

 

By the time they had concluded the second lap, Yutani no longer thought that it was a blessing for Raimi to have gotten up; it was even more distracting to have Raimi behind him, clicking his tongue and practically breathing down Yutani’s neck.

Yutani could almost hear him grinning too, even over the sound of Raimi’s persistent and ridiculous chortle.

 

After a minute or two of Raimi suspiciously breathing his breathy giggle down Yutani's neck, Yutani turned around briefly to see what all the fuss was about, and that's when Raimi attacked.

Weyland burst out laughing as Raimi practically vaulted the couch, kissing Yutani- or rather, attempting to- you can't really have good aim in midair-, and whacking him in the back of the head with the bulky controller.

 

Yutani almost fell sideways off the seat, but he caught himself on the table just before Raimi fell down into his lap. Raimi was laughing, Weyland was laughing too. Yutani had a smirk on his lips but fire in his eyes. After a moment, he laughed too, just before shoving Raimi off of him and onto the floor.

 

"Oh my god! Adam, what the fuck!"

 

Yutani kept going, ignoring Raimi and getting back to focusing on the race. He had fallen back into eighth during the tumble, but Raimi was in eleventh, so he was fine he supposed.

That was until Raimi stood up in front of him at least, giggling and dusting off his ass, old and mottled plastic controller hanging from where it was tangled around his arm by the cord.

 

"Ugh Raimi, _move,_ " Yutani laughed then, full bodied and mirthful, before pushing Raimi out of the way again.

Raimi had given up on the game, but that didn't mean that Yutani had to.

Yutani was trying his best to focus on the game after that, while Raimi sat beside him, sedated by the sharp shove to his ribs and sitting mock-pitifully on the couch beside him. After a moment, Raimi stretched out his legs, extending them out over Yutani's own and wriggling to get comfortable.

 

Yutani groaned; it was funny, sure, but that didn't mean he had to laugh- he was trying very hard not to. Yutani tried very hard not to always laugh at Raimi; he wasn't even being funny! It was ridiculous... and terribly endearing at the same time.

  
.  


Yutani found significantly less romance in the situation moments later when he realized that Raimi had not given up his intent.

Raimi had sat up again, still restless, and put his arms around Yutani's chest, kissing and licking at his neck, and making the most pitiful little whining noises.

It was stupid- Raimi was stupid, what the fuck did he even think he was doing; he definitely didn't think that Yutani was enjoying this did he? Yutani wasn't enjoying this; Yutani told himself that he wasn't enjoying it and focused on the game, even though he knew it was a lie. His body was reacting to it, and there was even a matching pitiful groan rising in his own throat.

 

He swallowed it down just as Raimi bit at his pulse point, so Yutani shouted instead -much worse-. Raimi wasn't giggling anymore, he was focusing on his new task. Weyland was suspiciously quiet, but Yutani didn't pay it any mind as Raimi bit at his neck again, crawling slightly on top of him for a better position.

 

"Ah! Fuck, Sam!" Yutani laughed, trying to squirm out from under Raimi so he could see the screen. He soon forgot all about that though, when Raimi swung a leg over him and straddled his thighs, leaning in for a kiss.

.

 

It was... funny, really; Yutani wondered why Weyland wasn't laughing; he would have laughed himself had Raimi not already locked their lips together.

 

Raimi knew exactly how to distract Yutani, he knew all of his weaknesses persay.

Raimi broke away a few times, re-situating the ball piercing on his tongue while he spoke soft words to Weyland, giggling and then shouting in glee.

 

Yutani was oblivious, thinking really hard about Raimi's tongue, and what else he wanted to see- or rather feel it doing as soon as they finished... what was it they had been doing previously?

 

-That was why, when Raimi finally pulled fully away from Yutani minutes later, sticking out his tongue and winking, some sort of wannabe signature move, before breaking into his signature toothy grin, Yutani didn't even realize the plot.

He didn't realize it until seconds later, when the ending theme music started playing and Yutani saw his controller lying abandoned on the floor.

 

Weyland had won second place, Raimi was in third -having earned ninth on that final race, (somehow still managing to play while kissing; when Yutani made that connection it didn’t do good things for his confidence)-, and Yutani was in fifth -having come in dead last-.

 

Weyland was laughing now, and so was Raimi; Yutani wanted to laugh, he really, really did, so after a moment of disapproving silence he did. It wasn’t like he was gonna hold it in. The game didn't really matter did it? Not when he had two gorgeous, less-than-perfect, dorky boyfriends to distract him with kisses.

They should've just kissed anyways, why even bother with the game?

 

.

 

Raimi leaned over Yutani to plant a kiss on Weyland's lips, who murmured a soft: "thanks babe" before placing a hand on Yutani's thigh in apology.

 

"Someone had to take you off your high horse, 'Tani, might as well've been me." Weyland breathed, interspersed with more laughs as Raimi kept kissing at the corners of his mouth.

"I haven't won in a while, I was starting to envy your supreme Mario Kart god status."

 

Yutani shoved Raimi out of the way and kissed Weyland, while the game proceeded to the ending dialogue: some motherfucking CPU, Bowser, and Princess Peach, standing on the podium in victory.

 


End file.
